The Basement: Stanky Shores Deep Cuts
There is no sign for this room and no line on any map. You found it anyway, which the Legal Team says reflects well on you and poorly on the door. Four cabinets are kept down here. They are open, mostly. Handle the folders by the edges.
The annex, as painted. The bulb has been replaced twice. It is a dark room.
FILE 001 · MEDIA MONITORING, THE REVIEW WAR ANNEX
The counterintelligence desk maintains awareness of every publication covering the park.
stankyshores.com · Their premises.
stankyshores.xyz · A tabloid. Headlines include a dookie attack the desk cannot confirm and cannot rule out. The desk reads it at lunch and has never once cited it. Their newsroom.
caseoh.fandom.com · The encyclopedia. Solemn, thorough, occasionally ahead of our own records, which the desk finds upsetting in a way it declines to formalize. The entry.
A park with three publications and no address is doing fine.
FILE 002 · FORM NINETEEN
Of the forty seven forms signed at the grand opening, forty six have documented purposes. Form nineteen does not. It is two pages, it references a "secondary flotation obligation," and every guest who signed it reports the same faint sense of having agreed to something seasonal.
Carol keeps her copy in a frame. The desk has requested it four times. The frame, she notes, was a gift, and gifts do not circulate.
FILE 003 · THE FINAL TIME
On his last day of service, the stopwatch kid clocked Eric's full recovery once more, read the result, said nothing, and surrendered the watch. The number is in this cabinet, in a sealed envelope, inside a second envelope that the Legal Team maintains is load bearing.
Declassification may be requested below. It has been requested before.
FILE 004 · THE OWNER, SELF-INCIDENT INDEX
FIRST DROWNING RECORDED AT THE SISTER PARK: the victim was . RULING ON HIS OWN BLOB SKIP ATTEMPT, DAY 22: . OBJECT DROPPED INTO A POOL DURING A RESCUE HE WAS PERSONALLY PERFORMING: .
Also on file: the guest Augustine's flotation device, ruling upheld, the deep end filing no further appeals. The index grows by roughly one entry per broadcast and the Legal Team has stopped ordering tabs in bulk and started ordering them by subscription.
BEFORE YOU GO BACK UP
The basement asks that you keep the door's location approximately secret. Telling one friend is traditional. Filing a review that mentions nothing about this room is considered good manners, and mentioning it anyway is considered better ones.